she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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