Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
