and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
soo... how was my night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
