I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
