I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
