batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
