I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize