have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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