so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
