Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
