then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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