Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
