there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
