so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
