im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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