if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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