Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
