Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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