If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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