I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
