he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
