Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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