You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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