In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
