I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
