i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
