worst night to have a conscience
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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