She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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