i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
