I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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