nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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