hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
