grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
