I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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