We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
