a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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