i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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