nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
