dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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