Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
