I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
