I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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