I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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