vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
