there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
