If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
