I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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