hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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