I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
