it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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