there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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