Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
