real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
