I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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