these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
well you can't waste a boner
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize