all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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