She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
