Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
