I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
