i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
