The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
